Damon: "Ready to ditch this house of horrors? Ooof terrible." Alaric: "Yeah, let me check out of here."

Damon: "Don't worry about him. We'll take him our for chicken soup, get him a martini, make sure he doesn't kill anybody."

Damon: "Oh yes. Back when you two were in love and it was all rainbows and unicorns."

Caroline: "Hospital just had a blood drive. I got some O-negatives, As, and my personal favorite, b-positive."

Sage: "Damon Salvatore, my favorite student." Damon: "Sage, my hottest teacher. What are you doing here?

Sage: "I'm just passing through." Damon: "Oh come on. No one just passes through Mystic Falls."

Rebekah: "Look what the cat dragged in." Damon: "Easy there Rebekah. You know, she used to beat men for sport."

Sage: "Well I heard Finn was finally freed from that casket your rageaholic brother Klaus carted him around in."

Sage: "He probably went looking for me." Rebekah: "Or quite possibly he forgot all abt you." Sage: "I doubt it

Rebekah: "Oh? Because he didn't seem to mention you. Sorry you came this way for nothing. Have a nice life.

Sage (about Rebekah) : "God, I hate that ugly elitist original bitch."

Damon: "Finn? Really?" Sage: "He's my one true love. He turned me so we could be together forever."

Rebekah: "You're mean." Damon: "You like mean." Rebekah: "No, I don't. Maybe a little."
Elena: "Are we talking about Alaric? Or are we talking about you? Because I wan't planning on giving up on either of you."

Elena: "It's my family ring, it's my responsibility to fix it." Stefan: "Not everyone is your responsibility. Not everyone can be saved."

Jeremy: "Hello." Elena: "Hey stranger." Jeremy: "hey you checkin up on me?" Elena: "Do you need checkin up on?

Stefan: "Why are you in a good mood? Sage double crossed you, tree's a pile of Ash, Alaric's got a psychopathic alter ego."

Stefan: "We have a weapon." Damon: "Game's back on, brother. Let's go kill some originals."